For those of you that don’t know, last week I went back to uni as a first year. I am now undertaking a Bachelor of Health Science (Nutritional and Dietetic Medicine). This is something that is so new to me, and to be honest I did not cope well with the initial transition.
I need to firstly put it out there that I am very motivated and am often times very hard on myself. I have high expectations of what I can achieve and when I can achieve it by.
Prior to my first class I had done all the pre-reading and almost finished my notes for week one (nerd alert). I really didn’t want to go in completely clueless. I was all excited to get started but when I sat down in my first Human Biology class my brain immediately went into panic mode. I honestly thought for a minute that the lecturer was not speaking English. She was using words I had never heard of, describing unfamiliar concepts and then hit us with this concept map that pretty much made by brain explode. My impulse response was to just vigorously start typing down every word she said. I didn’t want to miss a single detail.
Human Biology was followed by a Chemistry class. Well if I thought I was confused in Biology I had another thing coming! I think I followed for the first five minutes (when they took us through the course outline) and then he might as well have been speaking Chinese.
I went home that day so disheartened. I thought this is what I wanted to do and that it would come semi-naturally. I knew I would need to work hard but I expected more of a grace period and not to be thrown straight into the deep end. The following day I sat at my desk pretty much all day. I didn’t even know what I was doing, I just knew I had to be doing something.
The following day I went to class so flustered. I hadn’t slept and my head was in overdrive. I braced myself for another day of brain torture. Going in with that attitude meant that is exactly what I attracted, more confusion and frustration. I remember freaking out and going home so flat. I was so snappy when I got home. My poor family had to deal with a not so pleasant Gel.
Obviously I recognised the way I was feeling and how I was acting, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Was this whole thing a mistake? Should I just get a job in a law firm and use the degree I have? Do I actually want to be a nutritionist?
After speaking to a few people about my thoughts a common theme came across, “Gel you need to RELAX.” They were RIGHT! What on earth was I thinking allowing two days of challenging classes shatter my dreams and what I want to do? What on earth was the benefit in acting in the way I was?
I stepped away from my desk and just reevaluated my thinking. I knew I needed to strike a balance between work, family and taking time for ME.
This week I have been meditating or doing yoga every morning and it has made a world of a difference. My thoughts are more rational. I am being realistic with what I can achieve (within reason, I am human after all) and my mood has improved astronomically. I can’t stress how incredible the effect of setting aside even as little as three minutes in the morning has been for my mental health.
Over the summer break I read the inspiring book, “The Secret,” by Rhonda Byrne and learnt about the Law of Attraction. In simple terms ‘The Secret’ is that like attracts like. This can have both positive and negative effects. In week one stress attracted more stress and frustration. In week two my calm attitude attracted beautiful new friendships and patience to sit with the content and understand what was going on in class.
Most importantly, putting uni aside, was taking care of my relationships with my family. It isn’t their fault that if I am struggling in class. It isn’t their fault that the tram was packed. They are not trying to be annoying by asking me questions. They love me. They care about me. They deserve better. It really was my amazing sister and boyfriend who played a pivotal role in changing my way of thinking. They put everything so simply. They were not condescending, they were just open and honest.
“Throw some perm on your attitude. Girl you gotta relax.” – Bruno Mars
The icing on the cake to this new found revelation that I actually do need to calm down was hearing the incredible Bruno Mars in his sexy voice saying “Girl you gotta relax.” My sister and I have decided to adopt this phrase (using his voice of course) whenever we are both over exaggerating and stressing. Sometimes you just need to let your hair down and accept that what will be will be. Take every moment as it comes. Some things are not in our control and we shouldn’t try to control them.
Life is unpredictable and we never know what obstacles will be thrown in our paths. I truly believe that your attitude will shape your experiences that is why I am going to continue to take the time for me to RELAX in the morning, get my priorities straight and put some perm on my attitude!