Patience has never been one of my strongest qualities. I am very much a “doer” and very proactive when it comes to most things in my life because I don’t like to wait. Generally speaking, I do achieve the things I want because I am strong minded and motivated. This is usually enough. Unfortunately, or fortunately, we can’t control everything in our lives. Many of the blessings I have had in my life I would have never thought of trying to manifest myself.
It is easy to go on living day to day, doing the same things, thinking the same thoughts without challenging or overexerting ourselves. I often think it would be easier to live that way. Now I am not big on star signs, but my sister did point out something very interesting to me last week. “Gel, you are an Aquarius, you live in the future not in the now.” I knew she was right but wanted to investigate further. Let’s just say that upon investigation she definitely was not wrong. I was inundated with articles sharing how Aquarius’ are known for their forward thinking.
I am very lucky to be dating someone in the same boat. Bruno and I are only four days apart, making us both Aquarius’. We are such dreamers and a lot of the time find ourselves fantasizing about the future. In recent times, however, there have been some obstacles thrown into our lives. These are things that are out of our direct control. They are in the present moment. They are going to require time and patience to resolve.
Everyone in my house will detest that I have been a pain in the bum to live with of late. I made the silly mistake of putting timelines on things that are out of my control and am punishing myself (and inadvertently them) for it. This is one of the first times in my life where being proactive hasn’t gotten me too far. For me to get past this hurdle I am going to need patience, but even more than that I know that I need to practice gratitude.
I went through a phase a few years ago of having a gratitude journal. It sat on my beside table and every night I would write down three things in it that I am grateful for. Somedays I was grateful for my family, some days it was the sunshine and others it was for making it through the day. At some point I stopped doing this. I notice now when I look back that I achieved so much more when I wasn’t so worried about the future, but rather was grateful for the present moment.
I was listening to the Deliciously Ella podcast this morning at the gym (if you haven’t had a listen I would highly recommend it). She spoke about the “when I complex.” This complex is so prevalent today and it looks a bit like this… “when I graduate I will be happy,” “when I get engaged I will be happy,” “when I get my dream job I will be happy.” Happiness and lifetime satisfaction are perceived as a destination rather than a journey (corny and deep stuff I know).
By constantly focusing on the future we are taking away the joy of the journey, the steps and hard work that actually get us to our destinations. Living in the moment and appreciating each challenge rather than being attached to an idealistic life in the future is definitely the better way to live (I think anyway).
“We often get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget to pause and reflect on how amazing our lives are. We forget to count our blessings.” – Jessica Sepel, Nutritionist.
I had a bit of an emotional weekend. My mum definitely provoked some inner conflict in me and made it come to the surface. I can always count on my mum to make me look within at what is really bothering me. I was just having one of those weeks when I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything, that I was lost, that I was failing and that I couldn’t be further from my dreams for the future. I wanted to be grateful but just struggled to see the good in the things I had. I was in such a state of negativity that I could not recognise my achievements to date and saw them as insignificant to what I wanted now. Thinking back on that conversation on Saturday, something has finally clicked.
All of the things I have accomplished in my life so far, such as graduating from Law and Arts, finishing high school, starting a website, being able to cook and going overseas were all once ideals in my future that I didn’t think I could get. I thought that once I accomplished all those things that everything would be smooth sailing but they weren’t. It was at that point that I was presented with a list of all new challenges that right now seem impossible. I spent so much time hustling last time that I don’t even remember or appreciate the journey it took for me to get there. I look at where I am now and know that I wouldn’t be the person I am if I hadn’t gone through tough times, built self-confidence or was patient.
So many things are now available to us in the blink of an eye. We can basically touch something on our phone and almost instantaneously satisfy our desires. There is something so pure and satisfying about getting something you know that you had to work hard to get. Maybe if we actually enjoyed the struggle we would appreciate the triumph so much more. I know myself that I need to stop looking at the “future” as a destination. I know that when I reach the “future,” as I see it, that another path is going to be formed to the new “future” that I haven’t even given thought to yet. We are all going to feel insecure sometimes. We are all going to face things we don’t want to face. We aren’t going to get everything our heart desires quickly, life doesn’t work that way. We need to have patience that what we want is coming, determination to go after it and gratitude for the things we have right now.
It may not seem like you are achieving much at the moment. It may feel like you are in a rut. It may seem like things don’t make sense and that you don’t know what direction to take. That is okay. Be grateful to be where you are because where you are now is where you once wanted to be.
My goal for the next week is to really start practicing gratitude again. To wake up each morning and think of the things that I am grateful for.
I received a very exciting phone call this afternoon from the Royal Melbourne Hospital. They told me that I am no longer required to go in on the 23rd of July for an Almond Challenge. Rather, because I have had some exposure to them already, they want me to try and have them again at home. I was absolutely elated when I heard this!! I have been waiting for this moment since the end of November.
To be honest that call just put my current situation into perspective. I feel so grateful for my body for protecting me and for challenging me. We are not put into situations because the Universe wants us to struggle. Rather I believe we are put in certain situations to grow as people, to be better than we once were and be grateful for where we are now.
I challenge you right now to write down three things you are grateful for, to tell someone how grateful you are for them and to set an intention for the rest of your day. I guarantee that by doing this you will shift your perspective and see that things probably aren’t as bad as they seem.
“Expressing gratitude for the miracles in your world is one of the best ways to make each moment of your life a special one.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer.