I am your classic Type A personality. I am incredibly driven, I am impatient, I like to be in control of situations and I place a lot of (often unnecessary) pressure on myself. I am a high achiever and will never settle for just “passing.” I have always known this but as I sat down after my lecture today crazily writing down my notes someone said something. My friend walked over to my table and said “ah I wish I was as dedicated as you.” I took the compliment but was slightly envious of his laid back and rather cavalier approach to study.
I have found myself feeling very run down this week. Every uni student will understand me when I say that this week was the week that everything looked like it was going to crumble around me. Assignments I thought were still weeks away are readily approaching and that practical exam that I thought was in week seven is actually in week six. I thought about dropping a subject. I thought about just giving it all up and going to the workforce because the thought of another exam period terrifies me. But I didn’t. I thought about how fortunate I am to be in the position I am and how grateful I am that even after nearly seven years of university (yes you read that right) that I still get excited to learn.
Those of you that know me will know my “to do list.” I plan my whole week out and every single thing that needs to get done. It covers everything from meal prepping, to appointments, to the gym, right down to writing the introduction to an essay. I need to give myself a pat on the back for actually making it much more realistic these days. In the past they were unachievable from Monday but now I find that I don’t start falling behind until Thursday. I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself in terms of setting more realistic expectations but I am human and it’s a work in progress.
The point of saying all this is that I have been meaning to write my blog post every single day this week. Every day something else would come up that I would prioritise instead. I was stressing out. I was trying to force something to write about but I couldn’t. Then it hit me.
I pride myself every week on bringing interesting, relevant and engaging content. There are some posts that I plan for weeks before I even start writing. This morning rolled around and I had no idea what to write about (or even if I would have the time to write something). As my working day crept closer to an end (it is now 5:15pm) the penny dropped.
The reason I started this blog in the first place was to openly and honestly share my thoughts and ideas. I never wanted this to be a platform where I pretend that I have it together all the time, believe me I definitely don’t. So this afternoon I thought “I am just going to be honest.”
Honestly this week university has been my priority. I want to be the best practitioner I can be. I want to be able to give my future clients evidence based information about their body, I want to be able to recall information from memory and most importantly I want to ensure that I give my patient’s the most positive experience possible. This week I just needed to focus. I didn’t want the distraction of Instagram or researching content to post to derail me from my studies. I won’t lie, I definitely felt bad about doing it, especially because I care so much about our little community. So I thought that instead of acting like I am on top of everything I am just going to be open and say that I am not. Truthfully, I am taking things day by day and hoping it all gets done in the end.
I just wanted to post this for anyone else that is feeling tired and swamped at the moment. It is okay to feel that way because everyone does. Just because it appears that someone has it all together, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they do. I think that by openly sharing our thoughts and emotions that we can better understand each other and what we are going through. There is no need to compare your problems to that of another. We all have something going on. The more compassionate we are, the greater our ability will be to help those around us rather than judge their behaviour.
That all said, Spring is well and truly here. I can feel the days getting warmer, see the sky getting clearer and honestly sense more joy in those around me. Even if things have been hard this week, try and take one positive from it and let that light the way for a brighter weekend.